Ed is a constant that exists in my life; it's his strength that's a variable. I still don't understand how he gets so strong at times and so meek at others, but through the years I have been able to pick out certain situations that heighten his presence. I'll loosely refer to these situations as "triggers" for the purpose of conversation, but I want to emphasize loosely, as these are not necessarily direct cause and effect situations. I do not know what directly causes Ed. I do not know that anything directly causes Ed.
As I've written in "My Food Journey," I've been living with Ed since 2005. Just like any other relationship, a lot changes in four years. What have been triggers to me previously may not be now, and vice versa. At this point in time I am only going to address the top three triggers of Ed as of recent months.
First and foremost, my absolute number one trigger of Ed is bulk packaging; more specifically, anything that comes in multiple serving size boxes, bags, or containers. Pretzels, crackers, chips, dried fruit, chocolate, ice cream, candy, even vegetables if the mood strikes; it doesn't matter what the food is so long as it's packaged as a bottomless supply of something.
So how do I avoid this trigger that primarily stocks all our food stores? I refrain from purchasing certain foods entirely that nutritionally do not need a place in my diet, i.e. pretzels, crackers, chips, ice cream, candy, cookies, baked goods, and chocolate. If I really want any of these things, I go out and buy a single serving of it. I promise you I do not deprive myself.
As for the boyfriend that I live with? The day we moved in I designated the two cupboards above the stove to be used for his snack foods. I do not go into those cupboards; they are his personal space.
And as for bulk packaged food that does find its way into my home that's not boyfriends', like a gift from mom, I either tell boyfriend to get rid of it or let boyfriend know that it's in the house and he should never see me sitting on the couch shoveling it into my mouth. Also, now having the blog, I do feel more comfortable having bulk packaged foods around because the blog acts as something to watch me when no one else is around.
Another trigger of Ed is, yes ladies, PMS. I find myself with the usual cravings of sweet, salty, and crunchy during this time. The problem is, if I cave to a craving I most likely can not just stop at one of something.
Also during this time, I find myself wanting to eat more overall. I do not know if this is legit hunger, hormones, or what have you, but I do know that the feeling of wanting more really gives me the urge to sit down with a bulk packaged food and eat it till it's gone.
Basically, it's at this time that I find it more of a struggle to curb Ed.
A final trigger of Ed is having nothing to do. Sometimes watching television by myself suddenly isn't so bad with a box of crackers to consume, or a package of dates to inhale. The eating process keeps my body and mind occupied. I am no longer thinking about being by myself or lacking something to do. I have the food to think about; and when the food is gone, I have the really full feeling to think about. It's an irrational cycle to the nth degree, but it undoubtedly passes the time.
Again, as with other triggers, the blog really helps to ward off bored/lonely eating. If binging by myself doesn't make me feel bad enough, which it does, having a visual log to refer back to would really bring me down.
So why Ed? I don't know. I just know that he is there. But like everyone else, Ed has his strengths and Ed has his weaknesses. In learning what makes him strong, I will make him weak.
Me, Myself, and Ed: transitioning to me, myself, and i |
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